The above graphics will probably confuse most people since the group of people portrayed seem friendly and jovial. What’s scary about them? EVERYTHING! This post is about people that scare me and those that are most horrifying and damaging to me the most are not those whom are dismissive or nasty from the get-go.
The people who intimidate and unnerve me most are those that feign being supportive and encouraging when in fact they are judgmental, have no empathy and are the least compassionate.
I’m not only scared by these kinds of people, but they infuriate me because I’ve had to face their unpleasantness, their dismissal of my difficulties and their determination to hanging on to their ignorance.
Why scared? I am ultra-sensitive and I have difficulty establishing interpersonal relationships. So ridicule, being misunderstood and REJECTION cause me to spin out of control. I isolate; I am injured psychologically and I absorb how people perceive me and turn it inwards. I feel unworthy of love and support, and I am despairing.
Somedays my sadness is so great that I feel I may lose control completely and drown in my own tears.
I wonder if that would satisfy my detractors? I wonder if my misery and sorrow would move their hearts or if they would stick to their perceptions because it suits them for me to be the ”black sheep” – the weird one – the troublesome one.
As for me, I am forlorn. I feel abandoned by some; rejected by others and completely
misunderstood by many. The attitudes and manner in which I have been treated has made me very despondent and wounded.
To clarify, I must state that I suffer from 3 mental illnesses (they started in my teens and had gotten progressively worse until I was diagnosed 4 years ago) Bipolar Affective Disorder, Borderline Personality Disorder and Generalized Anxiety Disorder.
I won’t go into details of all the symptoms, I’ll just say that all 3 affect my judgment, my self-esteem, my control and my ability to manage my life.
So what am I to do about scary people and how they affect me? Do I simply accept their perception of me as truth? Do I spend my life lonely, anxious, and distressed? Do I internalize my feelings and invalidate myself? Do I keep avoiding close relationships for fear of abandonment or rejection? …
Well, that’s what I’d been doing for as long as I can remember and I am now putting all my efforts into renouncing these perceptions and beliefs about who and what I am and I will learn to love and accept myself!